So, this isn't really concrit on characterization since I'm really not familiar with your character. Take this more as a writing critique.
I've noticed while I've been threading with you that it has been tricky to respond to your tags. While your grammar has been accurate and the tags are easy to read, it's important with story telling to know when to take cues to lead into the next bridge of a story. In the case of our thread, Robin has accepted the idea of helping Elraine find things. Seeing as Elle really doesn't know the town yet, there's implication that Robin would then lead the story by locating a place she would be familiar with. Having idle chatter in between is fine! I mean that's how people get to know people. It just gives both characters a more solid foundation when things are still in motion to a goal, even if it's something as simple as shopping. So, I would like to emphasize keeping that in mind.
I apologize. I know this is a problem for me; I want to avoid power-playing so I end up having the opposite problem. I can edit my comment if you like?
Ah...! Well, it's understandable to want to avoid that! After all, people can end up pretty upset about that, too, when that's the case. But I really feel like in small cases like this, it's not something to be really worried about? It's just a bit of gentle worldbuilding to make the scene work for the characters. I think power-playing becomes a greater issue when playing out more major things like big event plots. That's when there's a greater possibility of infomodding or godding etc. Things of that nature.
If you have an idea in mind though with things and want to pull Elraine along to whatever place Robin would have preference to, go right on ahead! If anything, it would give Elle a better idea of what kind of person Robin is, what suits her/she likes, potentially give them more common ground, etc.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-10-28 12:09 am (UTC)I've noticed while I've been threading with you that it has been tricky to respond to your tags. While your grammar has been accurate and the tags are easy to read, it's important with story telling to know when to take cues to lead into the next bridge of a story. In the case of our thread, Robin has accepted the idea of helping Elraine find things. Seeing as Elle really doesn't know the town yet, there's implication that Robin would then lead the story by locating a place she would be familiar with. Having idle chatter in between is fine! I mean that's how people get to know people. It just gives both characters a more solid foundation when things are still in motion to a goal, even if it's something as simple as shopping. So, I would like to emphasize keeping that in mind.
no subject
Date: 2014-11-02 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-11-02 04:07 am (UTC)If you have an idea in mind though with things and want to pull Elraine along to whatever place Robin would have preference to, go right on ahead! If anything, it would give Elle a better idea of what kind of person Robin is, what suits her/she likes, potentially give them more common ground, etc.